Not Liking Myself…

Well, probably a lot of people go through this throughout their lives, but I really hate myself. I don’t like anything about me. I don’t even like my sense of humor or my level of intelligence, which are my biggest attributes. What I hate the most about me is my looks. Sad, but it’s true. I don’t like how I look. I don’t even like it enough to put a current picture of myself on this blog, but put a picture of me as a young child. It’s sad, in my opinion. I could do things, such as exercise and eating healthier, but I don’t have the motivation too. I’m just in the mindset of it’s not going to work. I should be happy that I’m alive, but I’m not living the way I want to. I want to have a good childhood and teenage years, but I never will. In the future when I’m asked by others or my future kids if I had wonderful youth years, I’m going to say no. I didn’t. I wish I could go back in the past and change things, but I can’t. This is why I looking into weight loss surgery, specifically the duodenal switch, for the future. I’m hoping to get it done during college. So may see it as an easy way out, but if you research about the duodenal switch it isn’t. This is why I wish and want to look like a Jackson Avery or Lenny Kravitz when I get older. You can always dream…

-Samuel